I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize