this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
