I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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