you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
