It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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