Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
