VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
