He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
