just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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