I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
