its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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