I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
