i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
