How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
