I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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