He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
