Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
