Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
