i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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