yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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