im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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