Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
