see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
