Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
