...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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