Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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