i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He did a backflip because drugs
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
