I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I forget how to act sober
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
