Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
