my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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