Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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