yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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