do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We just shotgunned beers for America
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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