i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize