how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
