so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
