dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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