Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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