Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
