We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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