I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Too much gin, very little bucket
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
