it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
