Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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