i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
