The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Everclear isn't food dammit
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize