I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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