Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
