coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
