Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
