I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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