i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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