This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
