Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
