"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
