wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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