You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
