Someone shit on the floor
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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