i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
