Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
