You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
