After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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