Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize