Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
