so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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