Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
