I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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