So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
