the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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