i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She's the barista slut.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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