She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
