Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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