Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
