I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
