Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
