She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize