Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
