You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
