whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Randomize
